Middlesex

I was born bisexual. I am 22 years old and I discovered it when I was 11 or so, It happened  in a very natural way. No, It wasn't during  gymnastics training nor during a pillow fight with some other girl wearing underwear and nothing else. No. It happened when I realized that I felt weirdly at ease with some dudettes from my school. I mean, ''weirdly at ease'', get it? You don't want to leave, you want to stay and you feel your stomach dizzy and your hormones in heaven when the other girl laughs or raises an eyebrow. Those things that little girls can't understand. Nature. Biology, Sexuality playing its tricks on a little girl, what a cruelty of nature.

Some folks can think that a bisexual person tends to be a less stable person, but, it is nothing like that. That's just an stereotype, It is not that you're in the middle or that you can't decide which train you want to aboard, it is more like a wider perception of love. 
The risk of falling for someone is curiously, and naturally, higher when you drink  two  bottles, and that has happened to me.   I have had relationships with both: boys and girls equally (not manyyy, but I have dated both sexes, yay). Some guys are nice, I feel more comfortable with girls, though. It feels kinda more romantic with people of my same gender, but there is usually this lack of protection no matter how much we try to disguise it. I know it is cliche and even sexist, but men are the only ones who can really supply this need for power and strength, I don't think I am wrong here, it is how I feel, I have my rights. Ahh?

The problem with guys is that they make me feel like I have to keep them with me, and I am tired of that. I don't wanna hang from someone. Women keep their promises, boys don't, women keep a secret, boys don't.

Right now I have my heart set on a cute girl of my same age, she cares of me and I care of her, but, sadly, I am 98% sure that it won't work. I don't want her to read this, not really, because I would hate that  she got a wrong conception of my words. I am just scared, too scared, I guess.

Let's try. Just let's try, May the good luck carry with us, who knows?

Should I keep waiting for my pink princess? Or will I ever find my Blue prince? [1] In any case, I just want to give all my love away and feel that it wasn't my fault if neither of those ever come.

*1 in spanish speaking countries, we have the concept of the blue prince, which is the equivalent of the charming prince, I felt adequate to use the aphorism to look smart.

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Skeleton Girl

Esto es acerca de cuantas veces quieras repetir el patrón de pensar que, una vez que encuentres al amor de tu vida, todo se ha completado... ¿Puedes realmente echar a andar ese cuento de hadas y llevarlo a un lugar real?  Esa es la mayor complicación de las relaciones amorosas estos días. 

Toda  esa emoción y excitación tiene que irse desvaneciendo, y la muerte del romance debe de ocurrir para que la relación pueda moverse a algo cementado, cementado en algo que la otra persona pueda ver claramente. ¿No?

Me recuerda mucho a la historia de la mujer esqueleto de aquel libro “Women Who Run With the Wolves” el cual, pienso, toda pareja que este por casarse debería de leer. Es una hermosa historia acerca de un hombre que ve el por lado de su mujer y siente compasión por ello, logrando amarla de cualquier forma.

Creo que muchas relaciones pasan por todas esas etapas tempranas, de ''Voy a pescar y encontrar un pez gordo el día de hoy'' Y tan pronto como se enganchan con algo, lo que en realidad piensan es ''a la mierda con esto'' ¿Sabes? Hombres y mujeres - tengo una gran cantidad de amigos que pasan por eso. 

Y me pregunto: ¿donde esta nuestro profundidad como seres humanos?